WEBVTT

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كانت أمي يتيمة
My mother was an orphan

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و عاشت زمناً ترقص وتغنِّي في مواسم فلاحي المنطقة
and for a time had danced and sung at the festivals of the local fellahin

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و تبنّاها عمّ لها يدعى قدورة
She was adopted by an uncle called Qaddura

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شيخ عملاق و صلب
a giant of a man, quite robust

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كان يسكن مع أخيه
He lived with his brother

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على ما أعتقد في هذا الدير
I believe, in this very monastery

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و كانا قاطعي طرق مسلّحين أيضاً
They were armed robbers

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إن اختفت فرس أو بقرة، قالوا انّها في الدير الجوّاني
Whenever a cow or a mare disappeared, everyone said it was at the monastery

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و لم يجرؤ أحد على الذهاب إلى هناك
where no one dared to go

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في ذات ليلة كان راجعاً إلى الدير على ظهر حماره
One moonlit night, as he was

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و رجلاه تتأرجحان فوق الطريق المقمرة
riding his donkey back home

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فلقفت قدمه اليمنى أفعى زعراء
a 'rogue' snake struck Qaddura's right foot

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قصيرة و ملوّنة
He leapt off at once

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و سامّة جداً
and jumped about

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نزل

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و قفز قفزات متوالية قبل أن تفلت قدمه من نابها
until the snake withdrew its fangs

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و وصل الدير منهكاً
By the time he arrived at the monastery

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و مات هنا
he was exhausted

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حيث أقف
and may have died right where I am standing

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ربّما
at this moment

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كانت أمي تقسم لي و أنا طفل
When I was a child

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أنّها رأت الافعى الزعراء نفسها تطير فوق الجبال المقمرة
my mother swore she’d seen that ‘rogue' snake flying over the moonlit mountains

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و تزغرد لأنّها قتلته
trilling with joy for having killed Qaddura

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و مرّة قالت بأنّها أفعى لها قرنا ثور هرم
The ‘Qasaba Snake' had horns like an old bull

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و يتحرك العشب اليابس من زفيرها
she told me, and its hiss made

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“و تدعى ”أفعى القصبة
the dry shrubs shiver

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خطرت ببالي ذاكرة المكان هذه
The notion of the ‘memory of place' came to mind

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و أنا واقف فوق الخرائب
as I stood there among the ruins

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غرباً
To the west

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في قمة جبل مغطّى بغابات صنوبر و سرو و بلوط
at the summit of a mountain covered with a forest of pine, cypress and oak

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تشعّ أضواء النيون من مستعمرة اسرائلية
shine the bright halogen lights of the

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تدعى ”حلميش“ عندهم
settlement that the Israelis call Halamish

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و ”مستعمرة النبي صالح“ عندنا
and we, the ‘Nabi Saleh Settlement’

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أضواء باردة و كاشفة و محاطة بأسلاك شائكة
Cold floodlights and barbed wire everywhere

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و بدت المستعمرة معلّقة في الفضاء
The settlement seems to be afloat in space

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ربما بسبب الضوء أيضاً
perhaps because of the bright lights

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و لم تلمس الأرض ولا التاريخ بعد
as though it hasn't yet touched land or history

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ماذا يرى مستعمر جاء من روسيا أو استونيا ربّما
What does a settler from Russia or Estonia

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قبل سنة فقط
who arrived perhaps no longer than a year ago

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حين يفتح الآن شباكه
see when he opens his window

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و يحدّق في هذه الجبال نفسها التي أنا فيها؟
and gazes at these mountains where I am now standing?

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ماذا يرى أو يدرك من هذه الجبال
What will he see and comprehend of these mountains

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التي تسبح في تاريخها و تبزغ منه؟
floating over the history out of which they have risen?

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لن يرى حتماً الأفعى الملوّنة
He will certainly not see the snake

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التي تطير و تزغرد فوق الخرائب
that flies and trills

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و لن يسمع هذا الصوت الذي يبكي
hear its cry

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ولا هذا السرّ الذي يجعل حتى مصاباً بالسرطان
nor learn the secret that urges the one suffering from cancer

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يمشي فيها في الواحدة ليلاً
to go wandering among the ruins at one o’clock in the morning

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لن يلمس التاريخ
He will not touch history

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ولو كان عرّافاً
even if he were a soothsayer

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ليس تاريخي أنا على الأقل
not my history anyway

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ولو كان إلهاً
even if he were a god

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و أنا واقف فوق الخرائب تلك
As I stood there among those ruins

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شعرت بفرق شاسع بين نوعين من الضوء
I felt there was an enormous difference between the two kinds of light: moonlight

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القمر و النيون في المستعمرة
and the halogen light flooding out of the settlement

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كان الأخير مرتّباً و مهيمناً
The latter is focused and oppressive

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حادّ البياض
its glare extreme

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منتشراً حتى وراء الأسلاك الشائكة
reaching even beyond the barbed wire

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التي تعزل كلّ مستوطنة عن محيطها
that isolates every such settlement from its environment

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أشبه ما يكون برؤيا مسلّحة
It is more like an armed vision

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باحتلال بصري
an occupation by means of vision

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و معمار ضوئي لدولة تهذي حتى في منامها
and the visual architect of a state in the delirium of armed visions

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“برؤى مسلّحة و مضاءة بالنيون
lit by halogens even in its sleep

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و بدت المستعمرة كلّها كتاباً في النفس
The settlement as a whole seems like a book about the soul

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أيضاً: في العلاقة بين القوة و والضوء
or about the relationship between light and power

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لم يدرس أحد بعد العلاقة بين القوة و الضوء
No one has yet studied the relation between light and power

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و بدا لي بأنّني أرى ذاكرتين معاً
It seemed I was seeing two memories side by side

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ذاكرة الأفاعي التي تزغرد و هي تطير
the memory of snakes that trill with joy as they fly

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و ذاكرة
and a memory

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من رؤى و أساطير مسلحة تحلم بإبادة الأفاعي
made of visions and armed myths that dream of eradicating the snakes

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أو لم يقل إسحاق شامير، رئيس وزراء اسرائل السابق، في الإنتفاضة السابقة
Didn’t Yitzhak Shamir, previous Israeli prime minister

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بأن العرب ”أفاع“؟
say, "The Arabs are snakes”?

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و بين الذاكرتين، ذاكرة الضحية و جلادها
Between two memories, the executioner’s and the victim’s

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ما يشبه الوادي أو الهوّة
is a valley or an abyss

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صدع عميق ما

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و أنا واقف على شفير هذا الصدع اللامرئي
and I am standing on its invisible edge

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هل يمكن لهذا الصوت الغريب الذي يشبه بكاء طفل صغير
Could it be that the strange sound like the crying of a small child

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في هذا البرّ المقمر
in this moonlit night

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أن يكون قادماً من أعماق الصدع؟
was coming from the depths of that chasm?

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لمّا رجعت إلى بيتنا سألت خالاً لي، أكبر سنّاً منّي، و ذاكرة
When I returned home, I asked an uncle, who was older and had a greater store of memory

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عن الصوت
about the sound

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قال
He said

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“هذا صوت حيوان صغير يدعى ال”غريريا
That’s the sound of a small animal called ghreriya

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كانوا قديماً يطاردونه بكلاب الصيد و البنادق
In the old days, they used to hunt it with dogs and shotguns

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و لحمه لذيذ
Its meat is delicious

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و الآن إنقرض تماماً
but now it's extinct

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ربما انّك سمعت صوت آخر ”غريريا“ في هذه الجبال You might have heard the last ghreriya in the mountains

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قلت لنفسي لا
They’re not extinct, I thought

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رأيت غريريات أخرى كثيرة في مستشفى رام الله
There were ghreriyas at the Ramallah hospital too

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كن يلدن و يولدن في الطابق العلوي، فوق
They were giving birth or being born on the upper floor

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أو يحفظن في ثلاجة الموتى، تحت
Or being preserved in the morgue refrigerator below

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لكن رأيتهن
Indeed, I have seen them

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أدمنت العودة نحو الدير الجوّاني
I had formed a deep attachment to the Inner Monastery

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و كأنّني مأخوذ بالوقوف في مهبّ ذكريات أهلي القدماء هناك
as if captivated by the very act of standing in the path of what blew there

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و أحاول تركيب بداياتي من نهاياتهم from my ancestors' memories, in order to construct my beginnings from their endings

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مثلاً
For example,

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كنت أحاول أن أتخيّله، عمّها، قدورة هذا
I would try to imagine my mother's uncle Qaddura

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وقفاً فوق سطح الدير
playing his rabab as he stood on the roof

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مشرفاً على أودية عميقة و مقمرة
looking out onto the deep

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و على جنائن متدرّجة
moonlit valleys

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محروثة و مزروعة
and terraced orchards that had been

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و هو يعزف على ربابته
ploughed and planted.

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حلفت لي أمي بأنّهم كانوا يسمعونه من القرى المجاورة و البعيدة
My mother swore that people heard him all the way over not only in the neighbouring villages but also in the distant ones.

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أتخيّله وقد علّق فوق كلّ جدار من جدران الدير الأربعة بندقية
I imagined him hanging a shotgun on each of the Monastery's four walls

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و صعد الدرج الحجري الضيق
climbing the narrow stone steps,

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و فرد عباءته تحته
spreading his cloak on the ground

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و بدأ بالعزف
and starting to play

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لا أحبّ الربابة، بل الناي
I do not like the rabab, I prefer the nay

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و أحاول أن أتخيّله
Then I try to imagine

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قاطع الطرق هذا
that highwayman

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و هو يعزف الناي
playing the nay

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قيل أنّ في القصب سرّاً إلهياً
They say that reeds hold a divine secret that God

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كان الله سبحانه قد أودعه في صدر النبي محمّد
(All praise to Him!) had planted in the breast of Prophet Muhammad

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و لم يستطع النبي تحمله
Unable to bear it

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فباح به إلى علي بن ابي طالب
the Prophet revealed the secret to Ali Ibn Abi Taleb

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و أمره أن لا يبوح به لأحد
and entreated him to not tell anyone

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و لم يستطع عليّ أن يتحمله، أيضاً
But Ali could not bear it either

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فذهب إلى واد عميق و بعيد
so he went to a deep and distant valley

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و باح به لقصب ذلك الوادي
and revealed it to the reeds

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من يومها
From that day on

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و كلّ ناي من القصب
the sound of every nay

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تصدر عنه نغمة
made out of reeds

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هي سرّ إلهي
sets free a divine secret

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ممنوع لفظه بالكلام
that cannot be spoken in words

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و حزن الناي
The sadness of the nay

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كما يقول مولانا جلال الدين رومي
Mevlana Jaluluddin Rumi tells us

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حنين الخشب أو القصب الذي صنع منه إلى غاباته الأولى
is the yearning of the reed

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التي قطع منها
for the plant from which it was cut

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إلى أصله
its origin

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أو واديه الأوّل
its first valley

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فإلى أي أصل كان يحنّ قدورة هذا؟
For what origin did our Qaddura yearn

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و إلى أية البدايات؟
which beginnings?

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من حيث يعزف فوق سطح الدير
From the roof of the Monastery

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كان تقريباً يستطيع أن يرى قرية دير غسانة
where he played his instrument, Qaddura could almost see Deir Ghassaneh

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أصل قبيلتنا، و أصله، من هناك
the native village of the Barghouthi tribe, and his as well

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الأصل الأقرب، على الأقل
His ancestors came from there—
at least his the ones he knew of did

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مرّة اختلف شيوخها معاً
Once, there was a feud among the elders of the tribe

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فتسلّل جدّ جدي في ليلة مقمرة كهذه
and on a moonlit night like tonight

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إلى بيت كانوا ينامون فيه
my great-grandfather stole into a house

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و ذبح اثني عشر رجلاً من أقاربه هناك
and killed twelve of his male relatives while they slept

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ثمّ حمل خويله و جماله و نساءه و أولاده
Then he packed his horses and camels, his women and children

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و هرب إلى هذه البقعة النائية
and ran away to this distant spot where

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التي سأولد فيها بعد قرن و نصف
a century and a half later, I would be born

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على هذه البداية
from such a beginning

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و قدورة من هذه السلالة الهاربة
Qaddura belonged to that fugitive lineage

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و اخوته أربعة
He had four brothers

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بعدد بنادقه التي علّقها على جدران الدير
the same number as the shotguns that hung on his four walls

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و كان ”كايد“ أكثرهم سطوة و سكن معه في الدير الجوّاني
Kayid, the most powerful among them, lived with him at the Monastery

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قيل أنّ كايد هذا، ذات ليلة، كان يركب فرسه البيضاء
One night, Kayid, riding his white stallion

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فمرق صدفة أمام ديوان حمولتنا
chanced to pass the clan hall

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حيث كان شيوخها يسهرون
where the elders spent their evenings

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فرأى قدورة خارجاً من هناك
As he rode past, he saw Qaddura emerge

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يزفر غضباً لأنّ أحد الشيوخ قاطعه عند الكلام
fuming with anger because one of the elders had interrupted him when he was speaking

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دخل كايد و أمسك بالشيخ من قميصه و قال له
Kayid got off his horse, storde into the hall, and, grabbing the elder by his shirt, said

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كبرت قرونك في غيبتي، و أنا من سيكسرها
‘Your horns have grown big since I’ve been away. I’ll have to break them for you.

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و كان ساعد قدورة الأيمن
He was Qaddura’s right arm

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مرّة تسلّق بالحبال أسوار قلعة لشيخ كبير في المنطقة
One time, he used ropes to climb up into a mansion of an important elder

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و فتح البوابات من الداخل ليلاً
He managed to unlock the doors and was about to lead away

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كي يسوق الخيل معاً
the horses and the cattle

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فاستيقظ الحراس و قبضوا عليه و سجنوه
but the guards woke up and caught him and held him prisoner

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و لمّا وصل الخبر إلى الدير الجوّاني
When news of this reached the Monastery

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قالت أخته لا تخافوا عليه
his sister said, Don’t worry about him

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بل على ماذا سيحدث للقلعة
worry about what’s going to happen to the mansion

00:11:57.730 --> 00:12:00.115
و بعث قدورة بقصاصة ورق
Qaddura sent a letter

00:12:00.230 --> 00:12:03.653
تنذر الشيخ بإطلاق سراحه في ثلاثة ايام
warning the elder to release Kayid in three days

00:12:04.192 --> 00:12:05.576
و أطلق سراحه
Three days later, Kayid was back home

00:15:01.269 --> 00:15:05.115
ليس غريباً أنّ جنازة كايد هذا كانت خاصة
It was to be expected that Kayid’s funeral would be special

00:15:05.615 --> 00:15:08.538
عندما شاع خبر موته في ذات ليلة The evening that news of his death reached out village

00:15:08.846 --> 00:15:12.730
خرج نفير من رجالات قريتنا إلى السطوح و الساحات
a group of men and women headed for the roofs and courtyards,

00:15:13.769 --> 00:15:19.615
و بيد كلّ منهم عصا عليها خرقة مبلولة بزيت الزيتون أو القار
each holding a stick wrapped with a cloth dipped in olive oil or tar

00:15:20.153 --> 00:15:24.653
و أشعلوا المشاعل و رقصوا حتى الصباح إحتفالاً بموته
They lit up their torches and danced the night away in celebration of his passing

00:15:26.423 --> 00:15:27.615
و أمّا قدورة
As for Qaddura

00:15:29.346 --> 00:15:34.076
فعاش زمناً بعدها حتى مات بلدغة الأفعى التي تزغرد
he lived for a while until he died from the bite of the trilling snake

00:15:34.615 --> 00:15:37.846
و تشرّدت ثلاث اناث كن في حمايته
Three females under his protection were rendered homeless

00:15:38.384 --> 00:15:40.846
زوجته، و أمي، و ربابته
his wife, my mother and his rabab

00:15:44.153 --> 00:15:47.384
زوجته كانت مدمنة على شمّ السعوط
His wife was addicted to snuff

00:15:47.653 --> 00:15:50.000
“و سمّيت بالتالي "سعوطة
and acquired the nickname 'Snuffie’

00:15:50.384 --> 00:15:54.576
تركت الدير الجوّاني الذي بدأ يقفر
She left the Monastery, which then fell into ruin

00:15:55.076 --> 00:15:57.884
و سكنت بيتاً حجرياً قديماً في القرية
and moved to the village

00:15:58.307 --> 00:15:59.500
على النمط الصليبي
to an old Crusader-style stone house

00:16:00.307 --> 00:16:02.192
بوابته من خشب ثقيل
Its door was made of heavy wood

00:16:02.692 --> 00:16:06.230
و جدرانه و سقفه أشبه بقوس حجري واحد
and the walls and the roof formed a single stone arch

00:16:06.730 --> 00:16:12.461
و كلّه يشبه نفقاً بدا لي، و أنا طفل، بلا حد
When I was a child, the house seemed to me an endless tunnel

00:16:13.423 --> 00:16:17.653
كانت أمّي تبعثني للنوم عند ”سعوطة" فيه، أحياناً
My mother sometimes sent me to sleep there, at Snuffie’s house

00:16:18.461 --> 00:16:21.461
استيقظت مرّة على ضوء سراج شاحب
One night, I suddenly woke up. The lantern was still shining, its pale yellow light

00:16:21.730 --> 00:16:27.038
ينتشر بصمت في ارجاء هذا المكان الأشبه برحم غريب و دافئ
radiating through that bizarre house that felt like a strange and warm womb

00:16:27.653 --> 00:16:30.230
و كانت تلهث، و تشمّ السعوط
Snuffie was panting, sniffing her snuff

00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:33.500
و تتمتم أدعية و تعاويذ غامضة
and muttering invocations and obscure spells